The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military, authored by Gene Thomas Gomulka, was first published in 2004. A revised and expanded edition appeared in 2007. The following comments by military couples and professionals can help you understand why it is, without a doubt, the most effective military marriage preparation and enrichment tool available today.
In her column on 24 April 2005, Dear Abby wrote that The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military �is very well done, easy to read and jargon-free, and although it was written for military couples whose marriages can be subject to extreme stresses, it can provide food for thought to civilian couples as well�.The price is $11.95 a copy, and it's worth every penny.�
This �survival guide� is so well done and will serve as a valuable tool for military couples; it is unique and specifically designed to address the needs of the military lifestyle. Dr. Majel B., U.S. Air Force
In an article dated April 15, 2009, Julie Maggiacomo Carrera wrote: �The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military includes a wealth of information for all married or dating couples, and�has salvaged many marriages. It is the perfect tool for those who are planning to get married to a service member or are currently married to one. Read the entire article.
I found the book to be an insightful read. More importantly, however, I enthusiastically recommend that every chaplain, executive officer (XO), and first sergeant or sergeant major get a copy and use it to counsel his or her young Marines and sailors who are chomping at the bit to take the matrimonial plunge. The lessons contained within the covers of this book may save countless hours of counseling, countless dollars in lost productivity, countless phone calls to the command in the middle of the night, and countless hopes shattered by people who marry for the wrong reasons. As an XO myself, I will keep this book on the short list of references that I will keep handy. Major G - a battalion XO at Marine Corps Recruit Depot (MCRD) San Diego Read the complete book review.
We have been using The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military for our marriage enrichment workshops for married couples in our "Beyond the Yellow Ribbon" Program which is directed at Minnesota National Guard and Reservists and their families to reintegrate into civilian life and family life after extended deployments in the Global War on Terror (GWOT)�. We have found the book to be very useful in opening up topics for animated discussion on various issues in military marriages. It is a great resource! I particularly appreciated the "rules of engagement" concept in conflict resolution in military marriages. I also appreciated some of the observations and counsel related to parenting while deployments are going on and when spouses return from deployments�.
David A. Thompson, M.Div., M.S.E.,CT, LPC
Military Family Life Consultant Minnesota National Guard
We found this book very helpful in pinpointing particular issues that we hadn't realized we disagreed upon. The book then allowed us to take it a step further with the �Rules of Engagement� in the Discussion Guide where we were offered insights and prompted with questions that helped us work towards a resolution. No third party involvement; no outrageous counseling fees; and no appointments to keep; allowing us to address each issue when it was convenient for us and for as long as we wanted. Amy and Chris W.
As a married, military couple, we found the book to be a very useful tool. In our opinion, it will save quite a number of marriages. We can see how so many marriages break up as there are far more challenges involved when one is married in the military. As a couple in the middle of our seventh move in twelve years of marriage, we can speak freely that the challenges are tough and require much patience. We think a book like this should be issued to any couple wishing to be married in the military. Donna and Andy Mozingo
We recently purchased 200 copies of The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military and the Airmen loved them. I would like to order a larger quantity... CMSgt ALB, Superintendent, Family Support Center
My wife and I have been married ten years and we have an eight year old son. I was unhappy for a number of reasons and I decided I wanted out. I went to a divorce lawyer and paid $1,500 when my father sent me a copy of The Survival Guide. Although I never wanted to go to marriage counseling, with the help of the discussion guide, we were able to work on our problems without exposing them to others. After talking about the statements that the book indicated we needed to address, we were able to arrive at compromises that eliminated any desire or need for a divorce. If it were not for The Survival Guide, my wife and I would probably be divorced today, and God only knows how the divorce would have affected our son. If you are thinking of getting a divorce, give The Survival Guide a shot, it might make a big difference in your life as it did in mine. Bob
This book is different from any relationship book I've ever read (and after my divorce I've read a number of them). When I saw that it was written by a former chaplain, I was afraid it might be heavily religious. But while it had a small section on religion, it was not at all preachy. It's more of an interactive self-help program than a book you read from cover to cover. It comes with two detachable questionnaires similar to what marriage counselors use. Only instead of meeting with a counselor, the couple read and discuss advice provided in the book's discussion guide. After reading some of the advice on a number of different topics from sex to even pets, I wish the book were around years ago. I can't say for sure if it would have saved me from marrying the wrong person for the wrong reasons, but I think it can probably help a lot of couples before and after marriage. Trish
I ordered two copies of The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military for my son and his girlfriend who are planning to marry. I read it myself and found it to be very clear and very user friendly. It's wonderful to be able to provide him with a clear cut, common sense guide. Thank you for publishing it. Mom
Maintaining the readiness of Soldiers and their families is critical to the military's efforts to sustain the global war on terrorism. In these times of longer and more frequent deployments, stress within military families is increasing across all of the services and their components. Books like yours are great tools to help mitigate some of these issues. J.M.B., U.S. Army
I am �sold� that this is great material and �news worthy� to share with constituents. E.C., U.S. Marine Corps
Chaplain Gomulka performs a pre-emptive strike to prevent problems before they start and to overcome problems once they have begun. This is a great resource for both Navy chaplains and Sea Services personnel. R.F., U.S. Navy
My husband and I completed the detachable self-grading inventory that helped us identify areas in our relationship that had room for improvement. With the help of the discussion guide, we were able to discuss particular shortcomings that needed some work without becoming defensive or hurting each other's feelings. I think the book can help both couples who have good marriages and want great marriages, as well as couples that have problems and might be hesitant to meet with a counselor. I liked the fact that it addressed unique problems and challenges we face in the military (like deployments and multiple moves). While the author served in the Navy, it was written with language and examples that make it meaningful to people from all branches of the military.... S. G.
Neither I nor my fianc�re in the military (though I did grow up in a military home), but most of the advice given in this book can pertain to all engaged or soon-to-be engaged couples. My fianc�nd I are young, just graduating college, and we found that the self-graded questionnaires in particular gave us constructive assistance in realizing where both our strengths and weaknesses as a couple lie. If you're not planning to go to premarital counseling, and even if you are, give this book a try. It is worth it. Emily
I liked this book. To help us navigate what we need to do in the military, we constantly deal with regs and specifications. When it comes to gauging how the military way-of-life impacts our relationships with our loved ones, there are no score sheets -- until now. Captain Gomulka has put together a thorough, systematic way to talk with our service members about everything from money to kids to even in-laws -- and to gauge how well we are working together as a team toward our common goals. If you are dating or married to a service member, you'll be glad you read this book. Ralph Nelson
I ordered your book for the daughter of a friend who is marrying into the Army this winter. I hope they enjoyed it as much as I did! Kathy - the wife of a military lawyer